It’s things like this that make me despise my own generation. Why do I have to be lumped in with these emotional toddlers?
The Adulting School’s first official session took place last week. During their early presentation, on time management, a number of 26-year-old attendees trickled in late. Reports from the summit make it sound not unlike an office party for dogs – participants waggily sniffing each other, being told when and where to sit. They’d been sent by their parents. There were cupcakes in the afternoon.
I mean, even the homepage of their website is so pretentiously hipster that I want to punch it in the face! (if that didn’t also mean breaking my computer screen, that is.)
Because life skills are ALL learned in a formal public school setting, don’cha know? (Maybe if schools weren’t so obsessed with lecturing students about straight, white, male privilege and – oh, I dunno – taught classes about budgeting or basic auto maintenance or even cooking, like they used to do).
Instagram selfies and artisanal bread. Yep. That’s the Millennial generation all right.
Good grief, it’s almost like a parody mocking Millennials. Except it is dead-freaking-serious. This is how I know we’re doomed. No wonder young people aren’t interested in freedom anymore.
Going back to the original sourcelink from The Guardian (the village full of idiots), they actually think it’s a great idea! See, Millennials have had it so rough and there’s not a super-special guide to life for them. See, life isn’t laid out for them all cut-and-dry like it was for Mommy and Daddy –
But it’s almost too easy to dismiss them, these young people with their shy arrogance and need for congratulations. Almost too easy to go up very close and look in their spectacled eyes and say: “There are no medals for being a person, child,” or to peruse their hashtags as you wait for your soup to simmer and quickly write off a whole generation Because while their parents had fairly linear paths to adulthood – secure jobs, affordable homes in which to raise children, a pension even, a shed – the millennials who dabble in adulting have no similar scripts to follow, and find themselves stranded on the hard shoulder of life, wondering how to act their age.
Man, that would be news to my mom and dad. I’m fairly certain they struggled with choosing jobs and school when they were younger. Mom had to move back with her parents after college and she HATED it. She worked her butt off to earn enough money to move out, and the economy was crap then too. Dad was worried that Jimmy Carter was going to get the US in a war with Iran and he’d get drafted like his older brothers had been. Dad didn’t even get to finish college because he needed to help save the family business (he’s better off now than many college graduates, which is always amusing to me).
After they got married and started having kids, they were so poor that they were always thisclose to getting kicked out of our tiny house. Both Mom and Dad took on extra part-time work from time to time, just to make ends meet. It wasn’t until they made some super-awesome (and, admittedly, super-lucky) business decisions that they started to get ahead and could afford nicer things for themselves and their growing family (that didn’t happen until I was in middle school, so I remember my parents’ early financial struggles fairly well. It taught me more than any pretentious “Adulting School” ever could).
My family’s story isn’t unique. I’d bet anything that the rest of you have similar tales to tell. Because that’s LIFE. That’s how it’s supposed to be! It’s not some bubble where someone comes and takes care of you, but the moment you’re expected to cook dinner for yourself for one night, you have a complete and utter meltdown.
So yeah, Millennials – tell me more about how our parents had it SOOOO EASY and they screwed everything up for us and it’s their fault that we’re so miserable and we need a special school to teach us how to be mature adults (speak for yourselves). Every other generation that came before us is laughing their butts off right now.
And if that makes you run off to your safe space, I’m not even sorry. Tough it out like the rest of humanity has done for centuries.