An Indiana man who flipped a mattress on top of his wife and sat upon her was foiled after his wife bit him in the scrotum, WXIN-TV reporteds.
Police were called to a home in the Indianapolis suburb of Greenwood on Saturday on a call of domestic battery. When they arrived, they found Dan Deaton fleeing the scene in his car and running through a stop sign.
When they pulled him over and asked him what the rush was, he gave the incredibly likely story that he was going to the police station to report a battery charge. When they began talking to Deaton, a picture of the incident began to emerge.
According to Deaton, he and his wife had been in an argument when he asked her to leave. WISH-TV reported that his wife Stacy told officers that the argument stemmed from her questioning his loyalty to the relationship. When she refused to leave, Deaton told officers that he flipped the mattress over and sat on her to — unbelievably — calm her down.
The mattress gambit — in addition to being sick, deplorable and highly illegal — for whatever reason didn’t work. Stacy Deaton, in order to escape, bit her husband on the scrotum. That’s when he said he left to let things cool off.
Stacy Deaton told police that the mattress wasn’t the only battering her degenerate other half had perpetrated, as well. She told authorities her husband shoved her and then proceeded to throw her down the stairs.
He “then mounted her chest, sitting on her and putting his hands over her face to stop her from breathing,” according to the report.
Everyone is innocent until proven guilty, although it certainly seems like Dan Deaton has more or less admitted to spousal abuse of the most horrific kind. Getting bit on the scrotum was the least that should have happened to this jerk.
Now, thankfully, he’s about to become a national laughingstock. That’s one form of justice, anyway.